Where I'm going with this.

I've been giving a lot of thought lately to where I'm going with all this.

You know the days where you sit up suddenly, spill your drink, and realise you've been going about things all wrong and you never notice? That's been my last couple of months.

Since Christmas, everything has been frantic. Some of it was the good frantic, some of it the awful, awful frantic. But it's been impossible to enjoy the good stuff, like wedding plans and the new house, because of the mental drain of the bad stuff.

Some of the bad stuff, like my Grandma's death, was unavoidable. But I bet the funeral wouldn't have been quite so unbearable if I hadn't had to get up at three the next morning to catch a flight to Hungary and work from six in the morning until midnight for the next week.

That's the main problem. Since our Account Director left and I had to pick up the slack (i.e. his job as well as mine, and training a new member of staff) for not much more pay, I haven't had a moment to think about anything but work. I've been travelling an awful lot, which means I haven't been able to spend as much time with my fiance as I'd like, or with my family. There's been a great deal of responsibility and expectations laid on me from all quarters.

So, suddenly I realised that it didn't have to be like this. I could get a new job, without the two hours a day commuting and the constant tenseness.

Because, I remembered, this isn't the career I want. This isn't what I want to be doing five years from now.

In fact, this isn't what I want to be doing two months from now.

So I'll finish out our current projects, the last of which is next week. I'll tidy up the books, go on holiday for a week, then hand in my notice.

Because there is a lot more in my life than this, and everything else is more important.


I discussed all this with Simon a few weeks ago, and he was both supportive and thrilled I was going to get out of something he had seen make me so unhappy lately.

Then on Monday night we told my parents, over dinner. They both thought I was making the right decision.

And my mother said; "It will give you more time to write, too. Because that's what you really want to do." Without me ever telling her that.


I have a feeling that the second half of 2006 is going to be so much better than the first.

32,000

Slow couple of weeks over here in Fictionville, mostly due to Wedding Issues, last minute trips to Frankfurt and some very necessary Sorting Out of the study and spare room.

Off to Wales again this weekend, with a very busy schedule involving wedding dresses and birthday parties.

Would be nice if I could get a chunk done during my lunchhour today before I go away... I'll keep you updated.

New Study

Another great Write On Word War today - bringing my wordcount up to just over 28k.

Obviously, major source of inspiration is my beautiful new study, as pictured. On the left you can see my pictures of New York and Narnia respectively, and above the desk my storyboard for my current story.

Also shown; my moneypot, some notebooks, photos of my grandparents and my parents, my files, my iPod, my plant pot (still waiting for the perfect plant) and my very expensive, but non-spine-damaging, desk chair.

It's all very exciting... but we need to put up more book shelves. 

25,000

That's got to be some sort of a milestone right? At least worthy of another cup of coffee, and maybe even some breakfast.

We've got another Write On Word War this afternoon, so I'm hopeful of getting this total up even more before the end of the day.

Perhaps some scrambled eggs...

Home Again

Got back home yesterday - have almost managed to stop falling asleep when left unattended for more than a moment.

Day off today, mostly. Want to get some writing done, in amongst all the other stuff. Not to mention that I'm still too tired to work up the energy to stand upright in the shower - had to have a bath yesterday, and fell asleep in it. Not good.

Did get some writing done while I was away, entirely due to the jet lag that had me up at 4am for the first few days. Up to around 23K now. Maybe I can hit 25K today... what do you think?

San Francisco

So it's like five thirty in the morning, but my sleep patterns are screwed, and I had to get up to call the office and a couple of clients in Europe before the time-zone issue became too overwhelming anyway.

So I'm bathed, dressed, I've made my phone calls, checked my emails and they don't start serving breakfast for another hour.

Guess I'd better get some writing done, then.

I'll let you know how I get on.

20,000!

Fantastic write on word war this evening!

Finally got to 20K, which is just a huge relief, especially as I know I won't be able to write much this week.

On the other hand, I still haven't packed for tomorrow... suppose I'd better go do that, then.

16,000

Everything seems so very slow on this story at the moment, and I'm getting frustrated.

I know that a lot of it is because I haven't had much time to myself to write, let alone think about the next steps in the story, and that when I have had time my brain is so fried from work that I just can't concentrate.

I also know that May will be better, and that June won't be so bad, so I still hope to hit the August 1st deadline.

Write on word war this afternoon, which will hopefully help. It would be fantastic to hit 20K before I leave tomorrow morning.

Other things to do today - painting the study (2nd coat, finally), laundry, packing, sorting out the work files to take to SF, calling the family, general house sort. And the drinking of coffee.

But most importantly, writing.

Back from Frankfurt

Urgh. A very long, very trying, very crisis-ridden couple of days over and done with, thank God.

In the office tomorrow, then driving up to Mum and Dad's in North Wales tomorrow night for the Easter weekend - Simon's already up there at his parents.

Come Sunday, Lent is officially over and I can have a glass of wine. Somebody, please, remind me not to give up alcohol next year? Seven weeks, people.

Got maybe 500 words while I was away, which just sucks.

I'm taking Gwennie the laptop home with me (in her snazzy new bag) so I have hopes of getting a decent word count over the long weekend. Although I also have family stuff, friends stuff and wedding stuff to get done. And new Doctor Who to watch. And my birthday party!

Day Off!

Oh thank God, a day off!

I was supposed to do a teleconference from home this morning, but that got cancelled too, so my day is my own.

Although, we've got a friend arriving to stay the weekend at 16.30, so I need to clean the house and prepare his room. And I have to paint the first coat in the study.

But most importantly - I need to write a lot of words! And type up all the stuff from Gothenburg that I haven't gotten around to yet.

Hmmm. Maybe I need coffee and a sandwich to help with all this...

A mere 500 words and 1 1/2 walls done so far. Wish me luck!

12,500

Sorry, I've been awful about posting this week!

I got quite a lot done in Gothenburg, bringing me up to around 12,500. Sadly it's all longhand, so I have a lot of typing up in my future. Oh well, it's good for when the brainhas stopped functioning well enough for the new stuff.

Haven't managed anything much this week - work's been frantic and I just haven't felt like doing much of anything by the time I get home. The laundry is also suffering.

Still, I'll try and get a bit down tonight. We've got a friend coming to visit this weekend, staying in my temporary study, so I'm not sure how much I'll get done then either.

Oh, and I suddenly have to go to Frankfurt next week for a very intensive site visit. Imagine I'll spend the flights sleeping.

Then it's off to North Wales for Easter, then it's my birthday, then I'm in San Francisco for the following week.

I'm loathe to set any goals for the next few weeks, as I think I might be less miserable if I reconcile myself to just getting whatever and whenever I can.

Still, I'd like to be at 30K by the end of the month...

7500

You know, I was quite convinced that I'd posted here yesterday, but apparently not! And to think that I was blaming blogger for being rubbish.

Got another 2500 yesterday, in between shopping and cooking and cleaning, before our guests arrived at six.

We've just dropped them off at the station now, so I'm settling in to try and get some more words before tea.

The first week has gone really well, actually. I think that having a deadline, even one quite far away at the moment, and having the Write On guys hovering in the back of my mind has really helped me get stuck in.

I suppose I should have some goals for the next week, but I'm off to Gothenburg on Wednesday morning and don't get back until Saturday night. I probably won't have much in the way of internet or even computer access while I'm out there, and I'll be working pretty much all hours, so it's difficult to know how much I'll be able to achieve.

Ideally, I guess, I'd like to hit 10K total tonight (which is very optimistic) and then get another 2500 over the next couple of days.

Then, while I'm away, I can concentrate a bit more on plotting and thickening the story, and perhaps get some words down if I get the time.

Maybe I should just see how I get on tonight first!

5000

This is going well.

A solid 1500 words this evening, introducing some key members of Emily's family, and getting Em and Joe on stage together again, even if only briefly.

In the real world, Simon has almost finished fixing the rotten windowsill in the study, and is now stripping wallpaper ready to start decorating.

Suppose I'd better go help him, actually.

Brussels

Urgh. Just back from Brussels. Just horrible. So very glad that meeting is over. Urgh.

No words, but in the very short space I had for thinking (about 15 minutes early this morning) I answered some important questions I had about the primary conflict.

As soon as I've had some sleep (and more painkillers) I think I should be able to make good use of this new knowledge...

But definitely sleep first.

3000

Managed to steal some time today to write Emily's first scene, and amend Joe's to fit. Everything is coming together for the opening, I think, but I suspect that there will be a lot of going back and forth and fixing bits of this story throughout.

Right, must go clean the bathroom, then start the beef, ginger and cranberry casserole going so that it's ready when Mary gets here.

Might try and get a few more hundred words down in between, though...

Study-less

I'm typing this at the writing desk in my spare room, which is clearly not in any way built to house a computer. Simon has done something with pieces of wood to make it vaguely workable, but I think my wrists might break if I have to work here too long - they're resting on rather sharp edges...

The reason for this is that, six months after we bought this house, we are finally in a position to decorate my study. We've done the lounge/diner, and the bedroom and even the spare bedroom, and now it's my room's turn. Except, while we were decorating all the other rooms, we dumped all these half-full boxes of stuff into the study. Which I now need to sort through before we can start removing wallpaper and so forth.

Still, it's easier to think in here than in the study at the moment; I don't work well when I'm surrounded by mess and clutter. And the study will be lovely when it's finished.

My wrists hurt.

2000

Okay, managed to rewrite that scene to a decent length, and improve the general content too, so I'm feeling moderately satisfied.

Hopefully I'll be able to get a decent amount of writing done this weekend, but I also need to start clearing out the study ready to decorate (I'll work so much better in there once it's clear and nice to be in!)

Then my cousin's coming over for dinner tomorrow night, and I promised Simon that we'd go in to London on Sunday.

And then I'm off to Brussels with work on Monday.

Guess I'll just have to make sure I keep the notebook with me at all times, and try to get some longhand work done...

1000

Right, dug out the first 1000 words I'd scribbled on this.

They're dreadful, but I think I know how to make this a viable scene - and at least getting in to it has made it easier to visualise the whole.

Hopefully I'll have some time to rewrite this tonight or tomorrow.

Challenged

So Michelle Rowen (http://www.michellerowen.com/blog/) challenged her readers to write a novel along with her.

In the hope of group inspiration (and public mockery if I fail) I'm in - novel deadline, 1st August.

Well, it's about time I started writing this thing anyway.

Might need to try and uncover my desk, though...